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Anguish...
Sunday, July 19, 2009

I have been trying to get out of the endless hole... But I dont think I can manage anymore. I might as well just remain stuck in this hole forever and live in the world of darkness. Now, I dun nid anyone to care. I dun nid anyone to bother. I dun nid anyone to console. Just 3 words to ans all these, I am hopeless. I felt as if I had lost most of my frens, of which some are very important and good ones, or I could even say its true.

It isnt the time for me to do all these sort of things. But... I have totally no control over what I am feeling right now. I wish I had, I still want to reach my ultimate goal this year. But can I??? I used to believe I could, I used to have faith in this and I used to have pretty much confidence. I no longer possess them now. All I have now are sadness, unhappiness and grief.

There is no more hope in life. I am just like any blind person now, who could never see the next rainbow or daybreak again. Its night time forever...

Now I oni know someone or something who is constant, who has stood by me through good and bad, who is always there in times of need. That person or thing is Maths... I m not abnormal. Atleast I havent lost my passion for Maths, but it isnt enuff for me to stop feeling the grief. The grief is too much. Too much for someone fragile in the heart like me. I may put on a strong front, but I know everyone's heart is fragile. Anything we say might hurt another badly though meant as a joke; anything we do might inflict a long-term damage on a person mentally though an accident.

I just want to live life as before, but can I ever again, after losing someone or something so important? I m afraid no... Without 'it', there is no more meaning in life...





Its doesnt matter anymore... Its all too late...




its all too late...
i have lost you...
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